You Are Enough

photo credit: Beverly & Pack on Flickr

I had a mini meltdown last week from forgetting to practice what I suggest to my clients, which is to practice self-care and exercise to help get quiet inside.   My week’s tasks were piling up like a train wreck. I could see it coming yet I didn’t unhook from the thought – I have too much to do.

Tears were shed.  Work stopped.  Then right at the perfect time a friend in the Institute of The Work sent me an email with an article by Byron Katie that reminded me to become present.

The trance was broken, and I came back home to me.  I realized that I didn’t have to do it all on such an intense schedule.  I love when this happens.

These mini course corrections continue to help me wake up (become conscious) and “lean” into the changes I want to make in my life.

I flew off to Tennessee to spend an early Christmas with my family and while there started reading Brene’ Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection. Brown notes that we live in a society that has us believe that we put ourselves last, which is especially true for women.  “Loving and accepting ourselves are the ultimate acts of courage.  She adds, to get to the place of feeling worthy, we need to practice self-love and self-acceptance, which are almost revolutionary.

“If we want to take part in this revolution, we have to understand the anatomy of love and belonging; we need to understand when and why we hustle for worthiness rather than claim it; and we have to understand the things that get in the way.”  Brene Brown

When I find myself in situation like this, I spend time noticing what I was thinking and what thought or belief was driving my behavior.  Under the thought “I have too much to do” often is the belief “I am not enough,” which is one of the most painful universal beliefs that most of my clients experience (yes it happens to all of us).

It’s this universal belief that lies beneath many of the habits and stressful thoughts we think each day.

When I question the thought – I have too much to do – and drop inside myself and ask myself what do I need right now, I find that I need nothing in the present moment.

When I am in the future with a big task list and I’m stressed out, it’s easy to feel “I’m not doing enough or I have to work harder.”

In the spirit of sharing what I am learning, here are three things you can do right now to experience being enough:

1) Become the observer of your thoughts. If you are a feeling type (you can access the emotions your body is communicating to you), notice your body and ask yourself what you were thinking that created that stressful feeling in your body.

If you are a thinking type, notice what you were just thinking.  Sit with it and breathe.  Just notice it and don’t try to push it away because what you resist will persist.  Breathe and notice.  This creates spaciousness in your body.  Become present and just notice.

2.  When you are stressed out, ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment right now?”  Asking yourself this question brings you out of the past and future and into the NOW.  What you will find is that you most likely need nothing in that moment.  Expand the moment to calm yourself.  Your higher self or true nature lives in the place of the present moment.

3) Learn to steer your mind — the steering wheel of your life — and drive it instead of it driving you.  Learn to question any thought that causes you emotional pain – anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger and other stressful emotions.  Chances are the opposite thought is truer for you.  Using inquiry on any painful thought will bring you freedom and peace.

So this holiday season, you are enough.  Practice self-care, gratitude and most of all – self-acceptance.

May you have a wonderful holiday with those you love.

P.S.  The Work is my power tool.  Find out more about Byron Katie and The Work here.

Watch Byron Katie talk about universal beliefs here

  1. I loved this post!

    What is eye-opening is how you insist on going deeper than the surface when tough situation arise and advice on always having a real conversation with ourselves and about ourselves. It’s true that often times, we underestimate ourselves and don’t want to say it out loud.

    “You are enough”… That’s a great reminder you have here.

    Looking forward to your next post!

    1. Hi Patty – nice to see you over here;) Thank you for reading this. Yes – I am learning that there is a belief underneath some thoughts and it props them up like a foundation. So going deeper is key. It’s like a trance and if we can observe what we are thinking and just notice it if our body is tense that is the first step. The more you do that the easier it becomes and the freer you will be.

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