Each December I set aside time to think about what I want to bring into my life for the next year and what I want to eliminate from my life.
I think about what brings me happiness or what I want to do that I’m not doing. I also consider what I am doing that weakens me rather then strengthens me, and I eliminate that one thing.
I make one intention that will add to my life in the long term. The way I do that is to set clear intentions in December just before the New Year. Notice that I don’t use the word ‘Resolution.’
I want you to think of what you want to add that will bring you more happiness. The focus is on noticing what makes you happier and expanding it.
One of my favorite authors, Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha’s Brain, says to make your intention as wide as possible.
“The wider your view, the wiser your intentions,” said Hanson. “We naturally look at the things right in front of us instead of taking the long-term view with our intentions.” What I love about Rick’s book is that he says that ‘craving’ is at the root of all suffering yet ‘desire’ is not. “Intentions are a form of desire. Desire per se is not the root of suffering; craving is. The key is to have wholesome intentions without being attached to their result.”
He suggests we ask ourselves these questions:
• What good and bad effects will my lifestyle today have on me 20 years from now?
• What do I do that helps and harms my planet?
• How do my love and my anger affect others?
Hanson says that when you take the big picture view of your life and set an intention that will help you get what you want, ultimately you are using the uppermost layer of your brain, which is key to creating an intention that is not only wise but wide. In neuroscience speak, what you are doing is using your prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex to do that. I use my brain to get my intention to stick! Try it and let me know what you think.
A wise intention for me that has long-term effects is that I want to work out more often the older I get. Why? Because we have to do more to keep the body in shape because we are losing muscle as we age. This played into my intention last year of practicing more Yoga. To make this intention ‘sticky,’ I visualized myself feeling stronger and healthier and saw myself in my yoga clothes. When I was in shavasana, I would see myself in my minds eye practicing Yoga. The key is that I felt the feelings of feeling strong and energetic – the feelings I would have when I got the thing I wanted by practicing Yoga.
So ask yourself – two questions: Why do you want this thing you want? What are the feelings you want when you get it? It’s always the feeling we are after not the actual thing. Make sense?
1. Ask yourself why do you want to have this in your life next year?
2. Then ask yourself what three feelings you will have when you get this thing you want. It’s the feeling or the experience that we are after.
From the chart below, pick three feelings you want to have when you get this thing you want. See the chart below for a list of feelings when needs are met. * From Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication website.
1.____________________
2.____________________
3.____________________
3. Now visualize yourself having this thing you want as if you already have it.
4. Feel the feelings right now – all three feelings — that you would have when you get this thing. The trick is to begin to act as if it’s already happened.
5. Repeat as often as you can. I like to practice visualizing and feeling the feelings in a restful state – early in the morning after I first wake up or in shavasana (resting pose) in Yoga. This also is key to getting your intention to stick. You want to be in a resting state.
6. Find a picture that captures the feeling you are after. Put that on a Word document and write your goal in affirmative language. Instead of a full vision board, keep this file open on your computer or post it next to your desk where you see it daily. This helps you keep your ‘attention’ on your ‘intentions.’
Open a Word document and put the picture that best captures the three feelings you want to have when you get this intention met. Put the picture on the paper and write in positive affirmative words.
What expression would you yell out to the universe when you get this intention met?
Woooooo Hooooo or Yeeeeeessssssss!_______________________________
I attracted _________________into my life!
I am grateful and most thankful to the Universe for helping me!
I continue to attract ______________________ in my life.
I like this simple format because I can focus on one thing and keep my ‘attention’ on my ‘intention’ daily.
How do you keep your New Year’s Resolution?
Let me know what works for you. Please add a comment below and I’ll get in touch. Happy Holidays!
Feelings when your needs are satisfied
*From Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication site
| AFFECTIONATE compassionate friendly loving open hearted sympathetic tender warm ENGAGED absorbed alert curious engrossed enchanted entranced fascinated interested intrigued involved spellbound stimulated HOPEFUL |
CONFIDENT empowered open proud safe secure EXCITED amazed animated ardent aroused astonished dazzled eager energetic enthusiastic giddy invigorated lively passionate surprised vibrant |
GRATEFUL appreciative moved thankful touchedINSPIRED amazed awed wonder JOYFUL EXHILARATED |
PEACEFUL calm clear headed comfortable centered content equanimous fulfilled mellow quiet relaxed relieved satisfied serene still tranquil trustingREFRESHED enlivened rejuvenated renewed rested restored revived |