How Becoming the Observer Can Help You Live the Life You Want


Today I want to talk about your inner game, your mindset, and how that impacts your success in life, whatever success means to you.

I’m going to apply it today to the inner game of business and talk about your mind. Your mind is your most important asset that you have in your business. If you aren’t using your mind consciously to focus on what you’re thinking and believing about yourself in business, then your mind is on autopilot and you’re unconscious of what’s going on. By that, I mean you’re just not aware of what you’re thinking at different times in your day.

It’s said that we think 80% to 90% of the same thoughts each day and they are the same thoughts that you thought yesterday or the day before. If you’re on auto-pilot and largely unconscious about what you’re thinking, you might have thoughts that are going to take you right out of your game. These would be “loser thoughts.” These would be thoughts like, “I’m not good enough, I don’t know enough, I can’t start that yet because I don’t know enough, or I’m not good enough to make a video.”

All of us have these universal thoughts that are related to two thoughts: who do I think I am, and I’m not good enough. Those are universal beliefs, and we all think those at some point.

There are “flavors” to the thought that “I’m not good enough.” Some of its flavors could be, “I’m not smart enough, I’m not thin enough, I’m not rich enough, I don’t have enough time.” It’s feeling “not enough,” and that is a thought that will just take you right out of your game and stop you from playing bigger. My focus is to help you learn to be conscious, self-aware, and self-realized so that you can get what you want and have the kind of life you want.

The lesson today is that your mind is the steering wheel of your life.

I’d like to start with a quote by Mr. Tony Robbins. He says, “Whether you want to improve your health, your finances, your relationships, your career, or ultimately, your ability to get the most from your life, it all starts with the foundation of how you think, feel, and believe.”

This is critical. This is what Eckhart Tolle talks about. This is what Byron Katie teaches. Being in the Institute of The Work of Byron Katie, my focus is becoming aware of what I’m thinking about so if I have a “loser thought” in there, then I’m going to be conscious of it. I’m going to decide not to believe that thought, and then not have the result that it would otherwise give me. If I believed that thought, my body might feel drained of energy or I might feel depressed, and then I might not make this video, for example, because I wouldn’t feel that I was good enough. This is why it’s key to really focus on your thoughts.

What you believe is what you’ll create, in life and in business. (Click to Share)

We’re all conditioned, as we grew up, by our parents, institutions, religious, school, our peers, the news media, and our culture. We’re conditioned to have certain beliefs. As a child, we absorb beliefs that our parents have about money and about rich people, perhaps about how rich people are greedy or snobby. We absorb all these money beliefs, and beliefs about work and roles, and they’re modeled to us by our parents, by our peers, by our family before age 7. All of these thoughts are going to go into our subconscious mind, which is much more powerful than our conscious mind. It’s in our subconscious mind that these beliefs live.

I like to equate your beliefs to your operating system.

If your mind were a super computer and your beliefs are in your operating system, they’re written into the code, so to speak, and you’re going to operate from those beliefs. That’s why it’s really important for you to understand your beliefs about money.

This is especially true for entrepreneurs. You can be the most skilled person in business, but if you have money beliefs that are outside your consciousness, they’re going to drive your behavior in a way where you’re afraid to ask for the value of what your services are. You might be afraid to make more money than your friends or your family because you’re afraid that they won’t love you anymore or they’ll leave you, or disconnect from you. So, all of these behaviors, even down to what you think you’re capable of making in your business, are operating outside your consciousness. So what I want for you to do today is to begin to observe your thoughts and here’s how you learn.

Eckhart Tolle talks about becoming the observer of your thinking and how you do it, you begin to notice what you’re thinking about.

If you’re a thinking type, you would first notice your thoughts. I’m not a thinking type. I’m a feeling type, so I would first start to notice that perhaps my body is talking to me in the language of physical sensations. Anxiety would be a big one for me. You’re going to find the feeling first in your body, and then you’re going to stop yourself and say, “What am I thinking about? Is it one of those loser thoughts of ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘Who do I think I am to do such and such?'”

So you notice the thought, and you stop and you breathe. You don’t resist it. You allow it to be. When you’re noticing the thought in your mind, Eckhart likes to say, who is doing the noticing? This is your soul, your higher-self noticing your left brain, your language center, the ego. So, stop and breathe. Notice it. Allow it.

We cannot stop our thoughts. But you can manage your thinking. (Click to Share)

The more you practice observing and being the watcher of your thoughts, the more peaceful and calm you can become. Eckhart says there is a spaciousness that happens inside. I like to think of that as being quiet inside because we all have this Buddha nature, this true nature, that is absolutely peace and calm, love, and happiness. It is our little ego that starts churning out the thoughts and bringing up the voices in the head that we’ve observed growing up. Those thoughts are there to warn us, to give us some information, but we don’t have to believe them. Today, your job is to become the watcher of your thoughts.

If you like this video and this article, please share it with your friends. If this has helped you, let me know. Here’s to your inner game of business and here’s to your success!

  1. Hi Sherold,
    Thank you for the video on the inner game – great information! I love the idea of inviting the bag lady to sit down to dinner and let her know that I don’t need to listen to her thoughts. For me it’s not the bag lady, but I think I’ll go on an inner thoughts cleanse, even starting with a few minutes and building from there. Thanks again!

  2. Helpful, generous, reassuring, and hopeful. Thank you! I especially like your strategy for coping with “bag lady” thoughts. I’m going to out that one into practice for sure.

  3. Hi Kate – thank you so much for your kind feedback. This is the focus of my work now on helping you with your inner “game” so that you learn to discern the voices in the head and don’t let fear psych you out. Thanks so much.

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