Before I started my coaching practice, I never knew that I had an inner critic. During coach training, my inner critic would compare me to others in my coaching group. It would rank me – telling me that I wasn’t as good as so and so or I was doing a better job than so and so.
I call the inner critic your “little self” – the work of the ego. Your ego wants to rank you. If it thinks you aren’t as good as someone else, you’ll unknowingly attach to that thought (if you aren’t conscious), which drives your emotions (that don’t feel good) and then you’ll play small as a result.
If you listen to your ego and think you’re that voice (you aren’t by the way), it will cause you to hide or not take action on your dream. I talk about learning to observe your thoughts in The #1 Thing You Must Do to Create the Life You Want and How Becoming the Observer Can Help You Live the Life You Want.
All entrepreneurs face challenges externally and internally (just like in life). The biggest challenges you will face are the internal challenges – your inner game or mindset.
You must learn to discern the voices in your head and understand not to listen to Judge Judy – your inner critic.
Your inner judge, I called her Judge Judy for today’s article, will keep you playing small. She will keep you from living your dreams – your true purpose. She will tell you that you aren’t “good enough” to charge that rate or to teach that teleclass.
To discern the voice of your inner judge, listen for the repetitive voice that has a negative tone.
Your inner judge is fearful and will warn you about not dating too soon after your marriage ended because she is afraid you will be hurt again. She will try to protect you from shame or vulnerability at all costs by warning you that you don’t know enough or that you are new at your work so you better not put yourself out there. She wants you to avoid shame and vulnerability.
She will tell you that you don’t have what it takes to run a business. Or “Who do you think you are to want to leave your job and start a business?”
Starting a business is a journey. The most dangerous dragons on your journey appear if you are on your soul’s path.
The closer you are to your destiny and living your purpose, the more your inner judge will come in and warn you, and tell you don’t have what it takes.
We all have a chorus of inner judges. These are statements that your parents, your teachers, your peers, siblings warned you or reprimanded you that came about from experiences usually between the ages of one to seven. This is the arsenal of negative and critic thoughts that your inner judge uses to prevent you from playing full out in business and in living a big happy life.
If you learn to manage your thoughts, limiting beliefs and take consistent action in the face of fear, you liberate yourself from your inner courtroom.
“The most significant fact about all the judgments and standards presented to you by the judge, besides their effectiveness in diminishing you, is that they are not derived from or directly related to the present moment,” said Byron Brown, author of Soul Without Shame.
Listen for the negative voice, allow it to say what it needs to say. You always have a choice. Have your judge sit down for tea, thank her for the warning, and access your wise self – your true self (soul or intuition). If you learn to play your inner game and listen for Judge Judy, you will be much happier and will learn to move out of your comfort zone in small steps to live and work doing work you love that you were meant to do in this lifetime.
To paraphrase Carl Jung, “every death of the ego is a victory for your soul.”
Vote for your soul. You only have one life – make it a big one.
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Related Posts:
How to Access Your Wise Inner Mentor
How to Tame Your Inner Critic So You Can Play a Bigger Game in Business and Life