Where are you hiding in your life?
When I was six years old, I was in my first play.
My part was a “lady in waiting,” and I was to stand next to the queen’s throne during the play.
Before the play began, each of us were introduced one by one in front of the big velvet curtains. When it was my turn, I went out in front of the blue velvet curtain and faced the audience.
When I was introduced, my older brother got his friends to boo.
I froze. I wanted to disappear.
When the play started, I stood next to the throne but as it progressed I started to inch my way behind the throne to crouch down so I wouldn’t be seen.
This is when I started to hide.
When did you start hiding?
What I’ve found from working with hundreds of people is that you probably had an experience as a child or when you were in middle school or high school that caused you to shut down your light and start hiding out.
Think of one experience that was traumatic for you.
What was the take away (lesson) you learned from that experience?
How are you hiding in your life because of that experience?
All of us have ways of hiding out in our lives and in our work.
When I started my second business full time in 2010, I thought all I had to do in this new world of online marketing was to work on my web site and marketing materials.
I thought this was the new way to get clients. Wrong!
I was “hiding” behind my desk at home.
I stayed busy doing marketing activities that I thought I needed to do in order to get clients.
I focused on working on my website, and taking other people’s programs so I could pick up more technical and online marketing skills.
I thought I was focused on doing the right things but I wasn’t.
I didn’t focus on creating content that solved my clients problems.
I didn’t build my list.
I didn’t go out and speak or put myself in professional groups where I could meet people who might have wanted to work with me.
I hid at home behind my computer. It’s easy to hide behind marketing.
When you find you’re in resistance of doing something you believe you need to do in order to be successful, it’s fear that’s stopping you.
You may feel fear around putting yourself out there to do what it takes to find your ideal clients and learn how to sell the transformation (outcome clients want) to offer.
What I know for sure is that there’s a big difference in fearing rejection and in being rejected.
It’s the difference between taking action and staying stuck.
Fear comes in variety of flavors – procrastination, overwhelm, and perfectionism.
Fear keeps you playing small in life.
You’re playing small when you procrastinate on that blog post you need to write because you worry you don’t know enough, or you think it’s not good enough.
Then you turn to social media because you think it’s helping you build your business instead of writing a blog post that would add value so that your ideal people join your list.
The two most toxic Universal thoughts are the underpinnings of shame:
“I’m not good enough” and “Who do you think you are?”
These two beliefs will kill any dream you have.
This is your ego trying to protect you from shame.
Shame thrives on secrecy so you want to ask a supportive friend that you trust to listen to you – someone who has earned the right to hear your story. When you share a shaming event with a trusted person, it gets it out of your body and “out of hiding” and it will help to loosen the emotional hold it has on you.
Ask yourself “what is the worst thing that can happen if I offer a free teleseminar or do whatever it is you want to do but are afraid to do it?”
Then ask yourself if you can live with the worst possible result — for example maybe only a few people sign up.
What you need to know is that we all start with a few people in our first programs.
There’s a huge difference between the internally rejecting yourself (you feel bad, you feel like a failure, you feel like a fraud), and the external cost of what might happen.
The external cost might be the time and effort working on something that didn’t work out as well as you wanted. So what? You have to experiment in business every single day.
It’s so easy to talk yourself into failure before it even shows up. It takes you out of your game (what you most want).
Comparing mind: your mind (ego) will naturally want to compare you to others to see where you stand.
This happens so much more now because of Facebook. We see others doing things and we think – darn – that’s what I wanted to do. Or she’s doing it better so I might as well not bother.
Comparing yourself to others is a toxic behavior that psyches you out so that you hide.
There will always people more and less advanced than you. This is the way the mind works – it compares you to others – are you better than or less than that person.
You have to start somewhere – you can’t leap to the head of pack just by wanting it, you’ve got to put in the time and effort to show up. The more you show up, the easier it gets.
The only real measure of success is your own progress.
You don’t have a lot of time in reality – so remember that it’s better to try and take action rather than sit back and wish you had done something that you really wanted to do.
Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away.
It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.
If you’re ready to drop the struggle and fear and make your business a success and want me to help you find clarity on your first action steps, sign up here for a complimentary session with me.