Drop compare and despair & let your freak flag fly!
The fastest way to ruin your day is to get online and cruise through Facebook and compare yourself to someone else.
Comparison is a second cousin to self-judgment.
I spent many hours the first year I was training as a coach in what I call “comparing mind.” Coaching was a new field to me and prior to coaching, my PR firm represented software products and my clients as thought leaders in their industry.
I was behind the scenes and never had to build my own thoughts, opinions and expertise to market myself. As new entrepreneurs, our natural tendency is to look outside ourselves at how others market themselves.
This is exactly what causes us to play small in our life and our business. Comparing mind is the fastest route to despair.
Envy is a sign that your ego is in charge.
When the ego is in control, comparison is always about determining our worth. We look at someone else and one of us must be better than the other.
The ego gains strength from comparisons.
Your ego (left brain) is the home of what I will call your little self. Your ego will feel stronger if it feels that it is better than another person. It will feel stronger if it feels you have been treated poorly or unfairly or if you have been given a raw deal in this lifetime. This is the classic victim mode.
The result of this is that you are in constant self-assessment and move further away from the beautiful person you were born to be. When you compare yourself to someone else, you do this at your own expense and move away from the truth of your own experience.
Our ego creates our sense of self. Many people live with a self that is not kind and even harmful to their self-esteem. This causes a great deal of emotional suffering because the self criticizes us and tells us that we are not good enough.
We all have inner critics who are a chorus of negative Nellies that talk to us all day long, every day. Our task is to become mindful and discerning about which voice is the best voice to listen too. When you hear a negative voice or inner critic talking – breathe and pause. Notice and let it be. Don’t resist or it will persist.
“All that is to be required to be free of the ego is to be aware of it since awareness and ego are incompatible. Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment. This is why we may also call it Presence. The ultimate purpose of human existence, which is to say your purpose, is to bring that power into this world.” Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth
When your ego is in charge of running the show, your Soul or higher Self loses. You will move further and further away from who you really are. The real you is who we want to see, know and connect with.
The more you embrace who you are, become more present and understand that you are here for a reason, the more you will move back into your higher Self.
Your Soul is here to evolve in this lifetime. If you can use your life experiences to achieve transformation – you will evolve.
When we move away from who we are, we lose touch with our strengths, our unique qualities and gifts – the essence of what God (Universe) created us to be.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.
You are not the stories your ego creates and tries to convince you that you are.
This is a key step in becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. When you can begin to notice that you are thinking negative thoughts about yourself or if you notice your energy is drained and can hone in on what you are thinking, this is being in the moment – presence rising. Feel your feelings and move through them. The more you can move through feelings and emotions, your body will release them.
This is you becoming the observer – your mind observing your mind. This is such a key part to being in charge of your destiny. You get to choose what you think and believe. If you don’t like it, you can learn to question it by using inquiry – The Work of Byron Katie.
What if you knew that your Soul was here to be part of every single thing you have experienced in this lifetime? What if you knew this was the path to transformation? Would this help you open yourself up to looking for the goodness in all of life’s experiences even your most difficult life circumstances?
Everything you experience in life is here to crack you open to be exactly who you are.
Everything that happens in life is here for you. If you can understand this and watch for signs, synchronicities and embrace the mysteries of life, you will begin to see the clues to your Soul’s true purpose.
When you open yourself to finding your Soul’s calling, notice the opportunities that come into your life.
This is what I have come to know. That every single person we meet, every single life event – good and bad – is here “for” us. If we can be open and ask, “What is here for me in this experience?”
Self-esteem comes from courage, from facing your fears, from taking small consistent steps of action.
So next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, take a deep breathe and say, “I am ok just as I am, and I am enough.”
We all have our own unique journey here on earth and our task is to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are and to tap into our Soul’s calling.
The beauty of our soul is that is can’t be compared in value or in worth.
It all comes down to choosing to be awake in our life or sleep walking through life.
When you compare yourself to someone else, you are selling your soul.
How are you noticing your Soul’s calling? How has compare and despair derailed you or your business?
As always, please share comments below or pass this blog on to someone who can benefit.