I talked to Jen about what she is learning from her year-long experiment with Savor & Serve the World, and her upcoming course The Shero’s Journey. We both have a strong interest in Joseph Campbell’s work and in bringing forth the Shero’s Journey instead of the male version. My belief is that it takes the qualities of the divine feminine to heal this world of war, poverty and extraction of the world’s resources. I am showcasing Jen’s work because she is a role model in empowering women in the world.

We all go through our own Shero’s Journey as women. It’s how we view our journey that counts. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

photo by Ryan Harvey

Technology is advancing to the point where this is not only possible, but it’s getting easier.

Last year when we were visiting friends in Baja for two weeks, I suggested to my husband that we come back to Loreto Bay (Baja) in 2012 and rent a home for a month.

One of my goals this year is to start combining travel with my work.  I want to travel to beautiful locations in the winter and work from there and play during my off times.

We took action and started researching what it would cost to rent a home there.   Here’s some of the things we needed to work through to make this happen.

• What would we do with our two dogs?  We decided it’s cheaper to fly two little dogs to Baja than keep them in a kennel or have a pet sitter stay at our home.  We rented a home that allows dogs.   About one week prior to leaving, we took the dogs to the vet and had international travel paperwork filled out and updated all of their immunizations.  Each airline has information regarding pets.  One of our dogs flew in a crate down below and the other one was small enough to take on board in a specific case to meet Alaska Airline’s requirements.   When we landed in Loreto, the dogs went through customs, where they review the medical exam information.  Loreto does not require the dogs be quarantined.  Vets and airlines do not want pets to be medicated when flying.  I gave each dog four drops of Rescue Remedy.

• We had to have an Internet connection so that I can work from there seamlessly.  The home owners we are renting from installed a satellite dish.  Note: we just asked them for an Internet connection.  These people plan to visit their Baja home more and decided to do the dish, which is faster than a regular Internet connection.

• I am able to Skype with my clients in Japan, Canada, Germany and U.S.   I use audio only because the video effects the quality of the connection.

• I use Verizon for cell service and although they say they serve this area of Mexico, it doesn’t work.  However, my husband’s iPhone is on AT & T and he has the Viva La Mexico plan.  He turned off data roaming so that he doesn’t spend lots of money on downloading files.  He uses the phone only and the plan is only $15 more a month and $10 more for 200 texts in a month.

Working virtually is not new to me.  I’ve worked virtually for my healthcare technology clients since 1998 in my previous PR business.  It’s not unusual for me to work from various locations.  This is the first time I will do this out of the country.  I’m excited to try it and the game plan is to play more and spend time with friends in the sun and outside in nature.

Do you dream of being location independent?  Have you tried it?  I’d love to hear from you.

photo credit: Beverly & Pack on Flickr

I had a mini meltdown last week from forgetting to practice what I suggest to my clients, which is to practice self-care and exercise to help get quiet inside.   My week’s tasks were piling up like a train wreck. I could see it coming yet I didn’t unhook from the thought – I have too much to do.

Tears were shed.  Work stopped.  Then right at the perfect time a friend in the Institute of The Work sent me an email with an article by Byron Katie that reminded me to become present.

The trance was broken, and I came back home to me.  I realized that I didn’t have to do it all on such an intense schedule.  I love when this happens.

These mini course corrections continue to help me wake up (become conscious) and “lean” into the changes I want to make in my life.

I flew off to Tennessee to spend an early Christmas with my family and while there started reading Brene’ Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection. Brown notes that we live in a society that has us believe that we put ourselves last, which is especially true for women.  “Loving and accepting ourselves are the ultimate acts of courage.  She adds, to get to the place of feeling worthy, we need to practice self-love and self-acceptance, which are almost revolutionary.

“If we want to take part in this revolution, we have to understand the anatomy of love and belonging; we need to understand when and why we hustle for worthiness rather than claim it; and we have to understand the things that get in the way.”  Brene Brown

When I find myself in situation like this, I spend time noticing what I was thinking and what thought or belief was driving my behavior.  Under the thought “I have too much to do” often is the belief “I am not enough,” which is one of the most painful universal beliefs that most of my clients experience (yes it happens to all of us).

It’s this universal belief that lies beneath many of the habits and stressful thoughts we think each day.

When I question the thought – I have too much to do – and drop inside myself and ask myself what do I need right now, I find that I need nothing in the present moment.

When I am in the future with a big task list and I’m stressed out, it’s easy to feel “I’m not doing enough or I have to work harder.”

In the spirit of sharing what I am learning, here are three things you can do right now to experience being enough:

1) Become the observer of your thoughts. If you are a feeling type (you can access the emotions your body is communicating to you), notice your body and ask yourself what you were thinking that created that stressful feeling in your body.

If you are a thinking type, notice what you were just thinking.  Sit with it and breathe.  Just notice it and don’t try to push it away because what you resist will persist.  Breathe and notice.  This creates spaciousness in your body.  Become present and just notice.

2.  When you are stressed out, ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment right now?”  Asking yourself this question brings you out of the past and future and into the NOW.  What you will find is that you most likely need nothing in that moment.  Expand the moment to calm yourself.  Your higher self or true nature lives in the place of the present moment.

3) Learn to steer your mind — the steering wheel of your life — and drive it instead of it driving you.  Learn to question any thought that causes you emotional pain – anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger and other stressful emotions.  Chances are the opposite thought is truer for you.  Using inquiry on any painful thought will bring you freedom and peace.

So this holiday season, you are enough.  Practice self-care, gratitude and most of all – self-acceptance.

May you have a wonderful holiday with those you love.

P.S.  The Work is my power tool.  Find out more about Byron Katie and The Work here.

Watch Byron Katie talk about universal beliefs here http://bit.ly/d6VqYQ

Teleclass on Dec. 15, 2011

Fear and I have a special relationship that goes back to my childhood.

I was the little girl who climbed all the way up to the high dive and took one look down at the pool and then slowly made my way back to the ladder and asked everyone behind me to go back down.

I have been a fearful person most of my life until I started my inner journey of personal growth.

When I made a decision to get out of my first marriage, I heard my higher self say to me – save yourself and do whatever it takes to free yourself from fear.  That “inner knowing” I acted upon and what I learned was a life lesson.  My husband and I were to move to a different state so we had sold our house, I sold my car and resigned my job. and was packing up things to leave.  So there I was with a three- and a half-year-old son with no house, no job and no car.

What happened next was a miracle. My friends rented me one of their homes and fixed it up for us.  Another friend happened to have an extra car and loaned it to me, and my former employer hired me back!  The Universe completely surrounded me with love and support.

Then friends started calling and asking me to come to dinner at their homes.  Why? I took a leap of faith and saved myself. I listened to my higher self and the Universe came to my rescue.

So I want to share with you, what I know for sure about fear. This is why I call myself a “Freedom Fighter.”  I help women just like you, get unstuck from fear that holds you back from living your true calling – your destiny.

When you hear the call of your higher self and act on it – that’s when you are guided to the path of true destiny.

Imagine being able to listen to your own inner guidance and take risks!  What would your life look like without fear running it?

Working with fear is something that I know intimately.  What I know for sure is this: each time you conquer a fear, your self-confidence blossoms.

The more you can expand your comfort zone, the more you can continue to move out the constraints fear puts on your life.  I gained more self-confidence as a single mom during those years because of all the first-time experiences I gained moving through my fears.

Here’s five things you can do today to start building inner trust and confidence and step away from fear:

1. Learn to Trust Your Intuition (Higher Self) – go with what your gut tells you.  Experiment with listening to it and following its guidance.  Notice how often your life is richer for believing in yourself and trusting your gut.
2. Expand Your Comfort Zone – do one thing that you are afraid to do each week or even each month.  Take a small risk and experience the thrill of doing it.  Pick something you have always wanted to do but were afraid to try.  Get your friends on board to support you and make it a fun event. Then celebrate with a reward that feels good.
3. Notice the Feeling of the Fear in Your Body and Use It As Your Rocket Fuel to Move Forward – ask the fear (your inner lizard) – are you here to help me or hinder me?
   Notice how your body feels.  If you have some adrenaline, notice if it is the thrilling kind of adrenaline and see if you have more energy than that drained feeling.  Your body is wise and talks to you all the time through your emotions.
4. Ask Yourself This Question – if I wasn’t able to be afraid right now, would I want to do this?  Then pretend you aren’t afraid and do it.
5. True Happiness – I have learned so much from working with my fears.  This is how you build self-confidence and lasting happiness.  Just knowing you can be scared and learn to lean into your fears is so rewarding.

If you want to learn how to become less afraid of playing a bigger game in your business and life, check out my new class Taming Your Inner Critic here.  It’s Dec. 15 at two times to accommodate your schedule and it’s only $39 if you are a member of Women Heal the World (membership is free).

In my life, I’m going for full-out amazing experiences and this was certainly one of them!  I found Seth to be not only brilliant but a guy who tells it like it is, which is refreshing.

Seth is a trend spotter and a reality reader. He is generous in heart, mind and spirit, and a great cook who knows how to eat healthy food. Note: he cooked us a great lunch that day. And to top it off, we had a lesson on the branding of chocolate bars, which we got to sample.

Seth inspired me to just do it and to start a movement – Women Heal The World - and let me tell you, there is no road map.  It’s an organic movement that will grow as the tribe aligns around the worldview that I share.

I will be the first to tell you that not having a road map is uncomfortable.  Seth says that it’s important to go to the edge of what scares you. This is one of my strengths – taking bold risks.   My lizard brain (reptilian brain) has been on full alert and my inner critic has been telling me not to do it. 

As a freedom fighter, I’ve learned how to tackle my inner lizard and observe my inner critic and go the other direction.  I care enough to put myself out there and just do it.  Why? Because at the end of my life, I will know that I heard the call to my true path.

That’s what my clients want and that’s what they get from me – the courage and support to just do it.  Note:  Seth says that if you can see the path then your on someone else’s path.

In my first interview (in the prior post), Seth talked about his new book, We Are All Weird.

In this interview, I talk with Seth about worldview, crowd sourcing and charitable giving.

Seth says your tribe is a collection of people that have the same worldview as you do. What’s important to note here is this:  if you get comments from people who disagree with what you are putting out in the world, then they aren’t members of your tribe!  It’s not about you!

I asked Seth about apathy and charitable giving.  I’m fascinated with why people get involved in causes and what inspires them.  My husband, John, and I both value giving our time and our money to causes we care about.  I like to see how the money we’ve donated has helped individuals.

I’m curious what you think.  Do you like to know how your donations have helped individuals — if you give to specific programs?

Do you care about reading how your money has helped an organization?

What inspires you to give?

Would you rather give and not find out what the results were of your donation?

Please leave your comments about the interview.  I have more amazing thought leaders lined up to interview.  I want to know what you think.

Do you have someone in mind that you would like to see me interview?  Bring it on!

Get on the list to subscribe to my YouTube channel here http://bit.ly/tEYxhi or sign up for my private email list and get my free life manifesto here

Seth says, “This book is personal, heartfelt and urgent. I hope that you’ll take the time to read it. In the words of the philosopher Dr. Seuss, We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

We humans crave connection and while the Internet has expanded our world, we still want to belong to a group of like-minded people. The book details how we are now in silos of tribes of like-minded people who support our weirdness. Seth argues in this book that the choice to push all of us toward a universal form of normal or plain vanilla is inefficient and wrong. The opportunity is for us to embrace our uniqueness and passions, and become weird.

The tribes I am in are those that support women for their successes (no back biting allowed), they stand for human rights, animal rights, organic and healthy food, saving the planet, moving women out of poverty and out from the margins of life, for peace not war, and to help women start their own business. I am freedom fighter – I fight for women to find emotional and financial freedom in their lives.

What do you stand for? Are you embracing your weirdness?

Group coaching in Seth's office in September 2011

In mid September, I had the opportunity to experience a rare group-coaching day with 11 other entrepreneurs at Seth Godin’s New York office.   Our group was half men and women, and we each were laser coached by Seth about a marketing challenge we faced with our business.  This was one of those experiences that I will treasure for a long time.

Key Points Seth Talked About:

1) We are in a Revolution.
2) Telling stories is critical to marketing your business.
3) Market your business like a religion.

We are in a revolution. Factories and mass production were the focus of the industrial age.  The Internet has changed everything.

Now we are in a shift from breadth to depth. Figure out how to go deep with your niche as opposed to trying to reach the masses. Seth’s new book – We Are All Weird is all about this.

What’s revolutionary about this time from an economic standpoint is that the cost of customer acquisition is going down to zero. With the old mass media model – the cost of advertising, PR and marketing made customer acquisition expensive.  Now mass media is no longer a scalable, predictable way to engage with the public. From now on mass market success will be an exception – like the black swan.

The old model of marketing was mass media. Everyone wanted Oprah to pick him or her. Oprah no longer has that show.

Pick yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to pick you.

Now what we are competing for is people’s time and attention. Knowing your people is fundamentally cheaper. You want to connect to your people in a trusted way. The value you offer has to go way up!

Storytelling

The story you tell yourself and the story you tell others is intrinsically related.  Telling stories captures our imaginations. A great story that is true will separate you from your competitors.  Great stories make a promise and the more audacious, the better.

• Trust is one thing that you must build with your stories – your blog and your delivery of what you do.
• The best stories agree with what the audience already believes and makes the audience feel smart and secure that they were right in the first place – it validates them.
• Great storytellers tell stories that match their customer’s worldview.

What is worldview?

Seth says it refers to rules, values, beliefs, and biases that an individual brings to a situation. For instance, if you had a horrible experience buying a used car then your lens (beliefs or thoughts) about buying a car is now different.

A consumer’s worldview affects the way she notices things and understands them. If a story is framed in her worldview – she’s more likely to believe it and listen.  A consumer’s worldview affects the way she notices things and understands them. If a story is framed in her worldview – she’s more likely to believe it and listen.

Match the worldview of the people showing up. What kind of show will you put on?

• First impressions start the story.
• Great marketers tell stories we believe. They tell us stories that get us to notice changes – then consumers quickly make a prediction.
• The authenticity of a story determines if it will survive long enough for that consumer to tell others – that is viral.

The two elements that must come together are:  The story you can confidently tell and the worldview the buyer tells herself.
When those align, you win.

A frame is a way you hang a story on to a consumer’s existing worldview.  Don’t try to change someone’s worldview.

How to win in business: You identify a population with a certain worldview, and frame your story in terms of that worldview.

Seth encouraged all of us to go to the edge of our scariest place in our business because that is the real thing.

Market Like A Religion

Think of your marketing as if you are starting a religion because religions are made to spread. You get your Deacons, your Bishops, your Cardinals, your Evangelists to spread your message.

“The Bible is written in such a way that people can’t rest until they’ve shared it,” said Godin.

You want to build a brand into a cult.

lululemon is a cult.  This brand is one of my favorites.

What does your tribe want to know about and be in sync with that.

Your niche is the tribe you build and the story you tell. With Starbucks it wasn’t the coffee – it was the experience.  Seth said in the early days  he would go there and look around to see who is there that he knows.  People go in there to work and not just buy coffee.

There are signposts along the road and it’s key to begin to see them.

Seth has said that the next generation will make it’s living by solving a problem. I know that is what my business is about.  How about yours?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Oprah's Life Class

This is the first in a series of Life Classes Oprah is hosting with lessons she has learned from her 25 years as a show host.  She weaves in examples from the show to illustrate the points she makes in her class.

Here are some top-level points I want to share with you from her class.  These are practices I live by, and I teach in all of my classes.

“I” is not who you are — it’s a monstrous act of reductionism.  Eckhart Tolle.

Your Ego Is Your False Self

Eckhart gave a simple example of how the ego is formed.  When a child starts to identify with an external object and begins to think of a toy as  “my toy” that is the ego at work.   When the toy is taken away from the child, he/she will start screaming.  Why?  The child has begun to form an attachment to a material object and gets a sense of identity from that object.  This is the beginning of the ego.  The object adds something to their sense of self.

How in your own life are you identified with what you do for work or the home you live in or the car you drive?  This is your ego.

If we live a life full of material things without a rich inner life, we live a life without meaning and purpose.  It’s the inner life that is key.

Become the Observer of Your Thoughts

When you become aware of your thoughts, who is doing the observing?  It’s your True Self – the awareness that has no body and is your higher self.

Any identification with form  — possessions, jobs, social status, the desire to look thin – are all the work of the ego — the False Self.

The key point is that you are not your thoughts.

Fear and the Ego

The ego has us running scared.  It tells us that we are not enough, we are not thin enough, and that we don’t have enough time or money.  It drives our behavior.

The key is to begin to notice when you feel a stressful emotion – worry, frustration, anxiety or sadness.  Ask yourself what you are thinking.  Observe the thoughts and just notice them.  Take a deep breathe and welcome them in.  Do not resist them or they will persist.

This is your True Self noticing your ego. You get to choose at that moment if you want to be anxious or not.  You always get to choose whether you want to have your day go sideways with negative emotions.  The more you can observe your thoughts, the more the ego’s strength looses its hold on you.

The ego is the disassociation of your True Self.  The goal is to become more and more of your True Self.

Head on over to Oprah Life Class today and answer today’s questions.  You will be glad you did.

How have you learned to become the observer of your thoughts?  How has it changed your life?  I’d love to hear your comments.

Clementine’s letter broke my heart when I read it. I asked myself in that moment — who am I NOT to do something for her and other women in the world?

“I am a widow. I have six children. None of them are attending school because of lack of money. When my husband died, I started a hard life during the war. The fighters looted all of my belongings. Up to now, I have no bed sheets, no utensils, and no clothes. People in my quarter contributed clothes to me. I am working for other persons in order to get food.”   Yours truly, Clementine

Clementine is my Congolese sister that I am supporting this year through Women for Women International. Her letter fueled me to continue my service and step up my efforts to support women and girls on a global basis through my forum Women Heal The World.

I know that it can be overwhelming to decide where to put your energy when you think about volunteering your time to be in service to the world. What if you were to help one girl by using your voice and taking action to wake up the world to the power of educating a girl?

It’s adolescent girls who will change the world.

If you want to end poverty and help the Developing World, the best thing you can do is invest time, energy and funding into adolescent girls. It’s called The Girl Effect, because girls are uniquely capable of investing in their communities, and making the world better.

According to Global Giving, there are 600 million adolescent girls living in poverty in the developing world.  If you give just one of these girls a chance, you start the girl effect.

When you give a girl an education, a safe place to meet, access to health care, legal protection, and access to training and job skills, they can flourish. And if they flourish, everyone around them flourishes.

“Girls and women are the mothers of every child born. So if they are not educated, safe, skilled, healthy, able to nurture their children, disease-free, violence-free or able to lead…they cannot offer much to their children. They can’t ensure that they are nurtured, healthy, educated or able to contribute in positive ways,” Jennifer Buffett, president of the NoVo Foundation.

Why support one girl? She has the unique opportunity to raise the standard of living for herself and her family.

When an educated girl earns income, she invests 90 percent of it in her family, compared to 35 percent for a boy.

What if you knew that it was easier than you thought and it didn’t take much time or much money to do one thing for a girl?

Five Ways You Can Get Involved Today

1.  Join The Girl Effect Blogging Campaign Today

Write a blog and post it here http://www.taramohr.com/girleffectposts/

2.  Support a woman’s business. With a microloan of $25, a woman can start a business, producing income she can use to feed her children and send them to school. To make a loan, go to Kiva.org

3.  Support a Woman through Women for Women International – Women for Women International provides women survivors of war, civil strife and other conflicts with the tools and resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency, thereby promoting viable civil societies.

4.  Watch This Video
Never underestimate the power of a girl. Watch this video and e-mail it to everyone you know. Then, learn more about The Girl Effect.

5.  Spread the Word
The best way to fight poverty and injustice is to educate women and girls. All you have to do is log on to Facebook or Twitter and spread the word by Tweeting about The Girl Effect or by sharing this post on your Facebook site. Go viral today!

Sherold Barr and Seth Godin in his NY office

I had an amazing opportunity recently to spend a whole day with Seth Godin, Internet marketing guru, and 11 other entrepreneurs in his New York office.

Each of us got a laser coaching session on a marketing issue we brought to him.

We learned so much from each other and Seth did a fantastic job of coaching each one of us.  Our group was an interesting mix of half women and men, and brick and mortar companies and online service companies.

It was nothing short of a truly remarkable experience that I will savor for a long time to come.  This is an example of the kind of dreaming I’ve been doing lately.

I see myself playing a much bigger game and the Universe (woo woo alert) is responding back.

Why?  I am on my path.  I feel it, believe it and have taken inspired action to make it happen. This is how it works.

What is important about this event is that if I had listened to my inner critic (reptilian brain), I would never have pushed the button to submit my name and sign up to be coached by Seth.

Right after I was signed up, I noticed the fear.  I sat there and asked myself what was it telling me. There was some adrenaline mixed with what felt like fear.

When I noticed it, I smiled and thought to myself, this is the best thing I can be doing.  It felt like the good kind of fear.

Each of us has an inner critic that is so pervasive and constant that we can miss out on some of the peak moments of our lives.

We think it’s our voice telling us “who do you think you are to be doing….” or “who are you to be doing this.”

It’s the voice of your left brain, your storyteller and your ego fighting to keep you playing small. It drowns out the voice of your soul if you let it.

How We Are Wired

Neuroscientists call the left hemisphere of our brain the interpreter or the narrator because it’s our language center.  This is where our thoughts come from.

It produces a constant stream of chatter, and I like to call it our Monkey Mind.

Our right hemisphere creates moment-by-moment images of our sensory perceptions – what it feels, smells, tastes and sounds like.  It thinks in pictures.

Moments are rich with sensations.  No time exists like the present time.  We are all connected – there are no labels or separateness.

The left brain sequentially compares details by organizing them in a linear fashion.  The left brain thinks in details.  It’s the home of your ego.

This part of our brain creates thought patterns and interprets large volumes of data.  It predicts what we will think, how we will act and what we will feel in the future. It judges good things and bad things.

Your Reptilian Brain

The reptilian brain is our limbic system or as Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, author of My Stroke of Insight says – it’s the emotional brain. 

It takes 90 seconds for us to think a thought and send the physiological effects throughout our body.

This is how we get to choose – do you want to think that same thought again?

When we experience feelings of sadness, joy, anger, frustration, or excitement, these emotions are generated by our limbic system.   The entire purpose of your reptilian brain is to continuously broadcast survival fears—alarm reactions that keep animals alive in the wild.

These fears fall into two categories: lack and attack.

On one hand, our reptilian brains are convinced that we lack everything we need:  We don’t have enough love, time, money, everything.

On the other hand, something terrible is about to happen. The other shoe will drop, or we will lose something we now have.  Someone is out to get us.

Our reptilian brain served us well when we lived in caves and were hunters and gatherers.  But when we wake up at night worrying about the job market, the economy or the Axis of Evil or Code Orange if we are about to fly across the country, this doesn’t serve us.

Because the reptilian brain is hardwired in place, and it’s wrapped around our brain stem, and we have no way to stop it from broadcasting fear impulses.

These fears are the reasons we don’t follow our passions and our dreams.

What to do about the Reptilian Brain

Martha Beck’s inner lizard is a winged dragon named “Mo.”  Mo is always wringing its claws together and saying, “No one likes me.”  Martha says she just feeds Mo a grape and gets back to work.  She notices it’s Mo talking and goes on with whatever she was doing.

If we know that it’s our inner lizard trying to keep us playing small and you name it, you can begin noticing what is driving you when you feel fear.

When you think a fear-based thought – “I’ll never get well, or I will never find a job.”  Just observe that thought and be compassionate with yourself.  It’s your inner lizard talking.

Be The Watcher/Observer

The only way you can gradually go beyond the conditioned thought processes is simply to be there as the witness.

Eckhart Tolle says, “Noticing a negative feeling state means you being aware.”  When thoughts, emotions or reactions are recognized – your sense of self undergoes a shift.

Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and ask yourself: What am I thinking?

Decide – do I want to keep thinking this thought and feeling bad or do I want to think a new thought.  Notice the thought, breathe and let it pass.

Notice if you are in charge of steering your life or your ego (left brain) is steering the wheel of your life.

If it’s your inner lizard running the show, ask yourself a Dr. Phil question, “How’s that working for you?”  You get to choose.

Next up: I interview Seth about his new book, Weird Is The New Normal.

Watch me talk about Fear: